It goes to show it happens to the best of us all—communication breakdown.
A little thing like communication is so fickle, yet it’s something that can become unclear now and again.
Mainly where love and feelings are concerned.
Those who even think they are exempt from chaos or disagreement often find themselves drawn into a communication meltdown. And more often, it happens when least expect such rumbles occur—most times caused by vague communication. Turmoil follows.
Level headiness by those best prepared for such encounters than others, they are not immune.
Why Communication Derails Arguments
This surprisingly enough occurred to me over the weekend, and till, to be truthful, it grabbed me by shock surprise.
My spouse said something that hurt my feelings, and I automatically lashed back in defence.
It was one of those silly little quarrels about something simple over a misplaced bottle of perfume. Not to me, though, it rendered to be more profound, something that had been stewing away for a few weeks or so.
I get irritated having to hunt for things when they are not where they usually are kept.
Rearranging Things Without Consultation
Even worse still, my partner has shifted things,
like Tupperware container lids, perfume, car keys, a container to store my baking soda, or even needle and thread. And I have no idea where to start looking.
And many others where I have had to hunt high and low to locate what I’m looking to use. That is just so frustrating, beyond mention.
A simple few words from my spouse when things get shifted would have saved lots of time and disarm frustration. And the response I got? “You need to open your eyes and organise yourself better,” That completely gutted me.
When I get home from work, I walk the dog and prepare dinner to be on the table when my partner arrives home. The house spotless and warm, as always. I’m very mindful of coming home in a tidy environment.
I see this as a central part of my role in getting home first, which grabs a sizable portion of my time.
And to imply that I have the time to “organise myself better” really cut deep.
I don’t expect praise, but I hope my efforts get recognised. I got told that “I don’t demand you to cook my dinner every night.” That translated to me as ungratefulness and hurt me even more.
Where From Here?
Was it my spouse who felt guilty at coming home to the perfect household every night?
But, I also felt guilty if it wasn’t perfect.
I never for one moment considered or believed it was all about me trying to make my spouse feel guilty.
Except it seems it did.
Only because he misinterpreted my efforts, and I also mistook his response.
If we both had talked this through, it more likely could have quite easily averted the communication breakdown circumstances.
Communication The Key
Without a doubt, communication in all situations is critical.
When it’s all boiled down, I needed my partner to keep me informed of what direction things were moving.
That way, we’d both on the same page.
For sure and certain, had we both talked it through like mature adults, all misunderstanding would have
evaporated into the air.
Because it didn’t happen in that way meant I needed to voice my frustration before it totally out of hand.
Feelings are real, and more often than not, may cause emotional damage.
We both realise expressing our emotions more regularly prevents unnecessary confusion.
And how each of our givings toward our home and relationship makes us feel.
In addition to that, how we interpret each other’s participation is the ultimate key.
Relationships or marriages are not a competition but a joint venture where both contribute to the union. Unfortunately, many couples don’t see it that way, therefore treat it as a competition. Ultimately the partnership falls apart.
And all because of the lack of talking fails them. Discussing life’s challenges requires constant communication. Not the other way round. Something not spoken about doesn’t mean it’s not essential.
And this is how it is with many couples.
Feeling Guilt or Stress
More often than not, when folks have an attack of guilt or stress, it impacts them in the most uncharacteristic ways.
Frequently, they are linked back to a communication barrier of sorts.
Because they are authentic, overcoming them requires courage in opening up to others about how they are feeling.
And, this is relatively prevalent among couples. So keeping the communication line open clears any fogginess that may creep in if holding it back.
Fair-mindedness and openness foster affection. And all by simply communicating.
You may even be able to support a friend prepared in listening to the way you are conversing with each other and offer insights and advice.
Once we sorted our differences, love and passion raced back into our hearts once again.
Our love was always there. It’s just that some silly little confusion split us in two.
At times we all fall into the trap of getting our priorities mixed up. None more than homelife. And the most profound reason, we take each other for granted.
Let me say here, and now, it served as an excellent reminder to us both.
For this reason, it may also help you consider the likelihood that you misunderstand each other unknowingly.
Discussing it is the way to reveal the lack of understanding, which can only begin the healing process.
A good lesson can be learnt, even for the experts.
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